lilmod ulelamaid- “He is being over on “V’ahavta l’raecha kamocha.” by forcing his wife to stay in”. Somewhere in Israel there is a husband with kids whose wife died, are YOU obligated to marry this guy becuase V’ahavta l’raecha kamocha, after all the husband needs a wife and the kids need a mother. Also I think your parents want you to get married, perhaps even Joseph want you married. See how many people you will make happy by marrying. Please note that neither the husband has the obligation to divorce nor do you have an obligation to marry the widow in this case. This also should not be interpreted as condoning the single lifestyle.
That being said there is something called “Doing the right thing”.For example if you are in the crosswalk you have the right of way, but if a car is bearing down on you at great speed, you yield to the car as you are not less dead when the car hits you for being Dead Right. Similarly in this case Lenny should make some concession even though he doesn’t have to, in order to keep the marriage intact. I think the wife in this case is happy with the marriage, after all it has lasted over 20 years, she is just unhappy with some of her husband’s actions and I hope they can resolve their differences and have a long, happy and productive marriage together.
Divorce is a blood sport which each side trying to hurt the other and get the better deal. Under current Jewish law with the exception of those who practice polygamy, permission from both husband and wife is needed in order for a GET to be given.If the wife refuses the husband need 100 Rabbis to agree that the GET should be given. Then the get is given in escrow and the wife can pick it up whenever she wants. If the husband refuses she must get the Jewish court to force the husband to give the Get.When the husband come to court he MUST CLAIM he wants to reconcile with his wife and he is given another chance. If he says the truth that he is refusing to give the get out of spite he loses and will be ordered to give the Get.