Some of the posters here are talking really nasty. I don’t believe any poster has a right to pass judgment whether there is real abuse here without knowing any facts, especially when Lenny claims clearly that neither his wife nor his rabbi has cited any specific actions he has done that constitute abuse. Many times a wife may have her own personal issues (created from her childhood experiences) that cause her to interpret any slight assertiveness from her husband as abuse.
Lenny,
I’m happy to hear that you plan to meet with Rabbi S.B. Cohen; I’m sure he’ll recommend for you good experienced therapists. I personally recommend Dr. Chaim Horowitz from Lakewood, a veteran with over 30 yrs experience on marital conflict issues. I know that Rabbi Cohen holds highly of him.