ED- we decide what the Torah says based on what the Rabbis tell us. If all the Rabbanim he went to were to tell him to give his wife a get, he would have an obligation to do so (assuming he went to reliable Rabbanim). DY is 100% right about this!
It may seem strange to you that the Rabbanim might say this, but you don’t know all of the facts of the case and they do!
In any case, practically speaking, at this point, I don’t think he has really “gone to a Rav” yet. In terms of his personal Rav, I think he did say that he is following what he said. In terms of the Rav from the Beis Din, it sounds like he may not have followed what he said, but I think that he felt that he was just going to him for information or something.
In any case, now he is going to go to a Rav for real – Rav Simcha Bunim Cohen – and he is someone who is very chashuve and very reliable and has been highly recommended to him by several people. As long as he goes into him with an open mind and is willing to listen to him, even if he doesn’t understand why he is saying what he says, that is what counts.
I am assuming that he will tell him to go for marriage therapy and will recommend a good therapist, but it is possible he won’t. None of us knows the facts of the case, but the Rav he goes to will, so he should listen to that Rav and not to the anonymous posters. And imho, people should really be very careful what they say because they may be causing serious harm to people (albeit unwittingly). ?????? ???? You don’t know the facts, and Lenny is taking what you say very seriously, so be careful!
None of us really knows what is going on here. And the only advice we should be giving Lenny is to LISTEN TO THE RABBANIM, PERIOD!.