ZD- I think that tzadikim are often able to do that, and there are many stories like that told about tzadikim. However, in my experience, I have found that as a non-tzadeikis, I have at times been faced when situations like that – situations that a tzaddik would have been able to accomplish that, but a non-tzadik would not be able to and would have to choose between the two.
Additionally, we do find that even with tzadikim (maybe davka with tzadikim) they often do have to do things that cause others to hate them and speak badly about them, and their gadlus lies in their being able to stand up for the truth even when others hate them because of it.
However, that is usually because they are leaders (and have to deal with community issues). And I do agree that for most people, it is probably true that things can be worked out most of the time with some thought and a lot of sincerity.