Two blondes are walking when they see a set of tracks. They look closer and get into a heated arguement about whether they are deer or bear tracks. They were still argueing when the train hit them.
A rabbi boarded a train one day and as he was sitting there, 3 teenagers decided to have some fun with him, so each one passed by him and the 1st one said: Good evening Father Abraham, the 2nd: Good evening Father Isaac, and the 3rd: Good evening Father Jacob. The rabbi quickly responded, I am none of them, rather I am Shaul ben Kish who went out to look for his 3 donkeys, it seems I have found them!
A Texan was visiting New York and he heard from a couple of friends that when he goes there he has to try a great dish: A bagel with lox and cream cheese. Sure enough, he tries it as soon as he gets there and loves it. He eats it every day until the end of his stay. On his last day he goes over to the owner of the restaurant and hands him a 50, and says, “I’ve been having bagels with lox and cream cheese for a few weeks already and I love it, but can you please tell me one thing, which one is the bagel and which one is the lox?
Henry Kissinger was having a discussion with Golda Meir, and he said, I should have you know that when it comes to me, first I’m Secretary of State, then I’m an American, and then I’m Jewish. Her response was, don’t worry, in Israel we read from right to left.