A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He
gets into the taxi and the cabbie says,
“Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?”
Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the
time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that
to Frank Feldman every single time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have
won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like
an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have
heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”
Cabbie: “There’s more … He had a memory like a computer. He
remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and
which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I
change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do
everything right.”
Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”
Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid
traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But
Frank,he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make
her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the
wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was
the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank
Feldman.”
Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”
Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank. He died … I’m married to
his widow.”