The following jokes were taken from BoysLife.org, the web site for the boys’ magazine affiliated with the Boy Scouts of America. Jokes were submitted by boys from around the US.
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A man comes into a hardware store and says to the salesman, “I would like a trap, and please hurry. I have to catch a bus.”
The salesman says, “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t make them that big.”
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One day Max went to see Carl. Carl had a big swollen nose.
“Whoa, what happened, Carl?” Max asked.
“I sniffed a brose,” Carl replied.
“What’s a brose?” asked Max.
“A flower.”
“What?” Max said. “There’s no ‘b’ in rose!”
Carl replied, “There was in this one!”
Submitted by Charlie H., Homer Glen, Ill
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Bob: What do you get when you cross a pair of trousers with a dictionary?
Tom: I don’t know. What?
Bob: Smarty pants!
Submitted by Adam P., Wichita, Kan.
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Drew: What do you get when you mix a CD and a pillow?
Chad: Beats me.
Drew: Software.
Submitted by Clark D., Evans, Ga.
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Jim: I just got a watch for my sister.
Joe: I wish I could make a trade like that!
Submitted by Bryan D., Taylorsville, Utah
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Pedro: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Pee Wee: What?
Pedro: Swimming trunks!
Submitted by Jake P., Omaha, Neb.
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Ben: Where does sour cream come from?
Ian: Beats me.
Ben: Discontented cows!
Submitted by Keith K., Portsmouth, Va.
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Cleopatra: What do you call a Roman boa constrictor?
Mark Antony: “Julius Squeezer!”
Submitted by Brandon R., Glen Alpine, N.C.
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A vacuum cleaner salesman told a farmers wife, “Ma’am, if this doesn’t pick up every speck of dirt in your house, I’ll eat what’s left.”
The lady handed him a spoon and said, “O.K. We don’t have electricity.”
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Jackson: What happens when you cross a duck and a rooster?
Dylan: I don’t know.
Jackson: You get woken up at the “quack” of dawn!
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A puny guy applies for a job as a lumberjack.
“Sorry,” says the head lumberjack, eyeing the man up and down. “You’re just too small.”
“Give me a chance to show you what I can do,” the guy pleads. “You won’t regret it.”
“O.K.,” says the boss. “See that giant oak over there? Let’s see you chop it down.”
Half an hour later, the mighty oak is felled, amazing the boss.
“Where’d you learn to cut trees like that?” he asks.
“The Sahara Forest.”
“Don’t you mean the Sahara Desert?”