Nice ones shticky!
Here’s a few more…
1. “My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was G-d and I didn’t.”
2. Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.
One of them kept complaining of family problems.
Finally, the other man said: “You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation:
“A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter.
We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter.
Later, my father married my stepdaughter.
That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother.
And my father became my stepson.
Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.
Much later, the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.
This boy was my half-brother because he was my father’s son.
But he was also the son of my wife’s daughter which made him my wife’s grandson.
That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.
This was nothing until my wife and I had a son.
Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother.
This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father’s wife, I am my stepmother’s brother-in-law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!”
“and you think YOU have family problems!!!”
3. Two Australian businessmen in Brisbane were sitting down for a break in
> their new store. As yet, the store wasn’t ready, with no stock and only
> a few shelves set up.
>
> One said to the other, ‘I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is
> going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we’re
> selling’.
>
> No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious
> Japanese tourist walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick
> Japanese accent asked
>
> ‘What you sell?’
> One of the men replied sarcastically, ‘We’re selling half-wits.’
>
> Without skipping a beat, the Japanese man said,
>
> ‘You doing velly well, only two left’.