How do mathematicians scold their children?
I’ve told you n times; I’ve told you n+1 times…
=
A mathematician wanders back home at 3 AM and proceeds to get an earful from his wife. You’re late, she says, you said you’d be home at 11:45!
Actually, the mathematician cooly replies, I’d said I’d be home by a quarter of 12.
=
Why did Beethoven get rid of all his chickens?
All they said was Bach, Bach, Bach…
=
Did you hear about the suicidal homeopath? He took 1/50th of the recommended dose.