Dear tiny little lump of human,
Wecome.
Lesson 1:
In His infinite wisdom the culmination of the B’riya was a wondrous creature!
She will feed you and carry you with her wherever she goes. She will provide your needs graciously, free of charge.
If you spit up on her, wake her at 1, 2, 3, and 4 a.m., and get the crib sheet dirty (again), she will continue to care for you and cherish you.
If there are any problems, cry, and she’ll attend to them.
And when you turn into a full grown mature human she will continue to love you.
Rejoice! This is only the first of many wondrous gifts He has prepared for your enjoyment.