There was another important point that I wanted to make and didn’t get to yet. Any definition given for any of these terms is not going to be 100% accurate. No matter what definition is given, you will probably be able to find someone who doesn’t fit.
That is because none of these labels are real, so they don’t have a real definition. They are sociological terms that developed. You would have the same problem if you tried defining other labels such as Frum, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, secular, chiloni, mesorati, etc. There is more than one way that one could define each of the terms, and for each definition used, one will find people who don’t fit. I think that some of these other terms may be even more complicated to define. It is also important to remember that in some cases, the definitions have changed over the years.
In addition to the fact that labels aren’t real, people are complex and don’t necessarily fit neatly into boxes. That is why many people are anti-labels and only use them when they have to, if at all. I used to be very anti-label, and I actually still am in theory at least to some degree, but I have come to realize that they are necessary and valuable to some extent. However, even when one used labels, they have to realize they are essentially meaningless. People are people and they are not labels, so any definition you give will probably not work 100% for all people all of the time. Which is fine. Because it’s just a meaningless label. And we’re waiting for the day when we will be “agudah achas” and get rid of the labels.
I used the definition of Chareidi that I used because it is the one that I think makes the most sense, fits best with the way that the term is used in modern Israeli society, and leaves one with the least contradictions and questions.
I have been living in Eretz Yisrael for over 2 decades, and it took me a long time to figure out what the term Chareidi meant. I came up with this definition after living here for many years, in many types of communities, speaking to many people, thinking about it a lot and analyzing society here and the way the labels are used.
Bli neder, I will try to answer your specific questions/arguments later (probably not tonight because I am tired).
But I think that this post should answer your questions to some extent, and maybe even fully. In any case, I will try when I’m less tired, bli neder.