Reply To: Can an Emotional Connection Be Created- Shidduchim

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Okay hope this isn’t a damp rag on a flame… on the flipside, having an emotional connection can exist independently of a healthy relationship.

So maybe this doesn’t affect the example of *Fiddler on the Roof*.

It is important to note that true love also comes with respect and the voluntary ability or choice to give and receive. Giving to someone wouldn’t be enough if it comes with unhealthy behaviors and such.

I mention this because it can be confusing when someone both gives to and hurts someone a lot. It can look like love from the outside but inside it’s quite different.

Regardless, yes the desire to give to another may indeed indicate a bond or emotional connection.

Abother look: One may also be giving to one’s spouse to ultimately establish a stronger bond and emotional connection to Hashem through the mitzvot.

I don’t know how often that happens but I know of at least one person who explained his desire to give to his wife as a way to strengthen his relationship with Hashem.

At first it sounded foreign but a friend made sense of it to me. She said that she could relate. For example, she is makpid on tznius for Hashem’s sake. It may strengthen her relationship with her husband but the main drive is to do it for Hashem.