LB- thanks for clarifying. I’m sorry for thinking you were being close-minded.
After I thought about it, I could hear what you are saying. The truth is that the one time I can remember specifically being told about a guy that he is makpid on no-internet (and no-sheitels as well), I did get nervous.
Even though those are both issues that I either agree with or am fine with, I was concerned that the fact that the person redting the shidduch made a point of mentioning these things meant that she was concerned that it showed something about his general personality/mentality. It was also the way she said it, and she later confirmed that was her point. Meanwhile, during the checking process I found out that he really is overly-rigid.
The point is that while there is nothing wrong (and even a lot right) with not wanting internet in the home, I can see where in SOME cases the fact that they are making an issue of this CAN be a sign of over-rigidity. (but of course each case has to be looked into).
A lot has to do with the person’s age and community though. As an older single, I don’t even bring up the issue of internet when I speak to shadchanim. I feel like it’s hard enough to find a normal older guy who doesn’t watch tv/movies.
Shadchanim will even try getting me to compromise on tv/movies. That I won’t compromise on, b”n, but even though I really don’t want internet in my future home, I feel like it’s something to discuss with the guy as opposed to being a deal-breaker for a first date. I don’t know if I’m right, but that is my approach.
In this case, based on your last post, it sounds like the guy may be suffering from baal teshuva syndrome, and like he would be better off in a Frumer community, where he can just be himself and won’t have to feel like he is always fighting the tide. He may need therapy too (like most people in the world.)
Is it possible for him to move to another community? Is that an option for him? Maybe Eretz Yisrael would be good for him? Or Lakewood (l’havdil)?