Hi baisyaakovliberal,
I know something about the seminaries, have worked in some of them in the past (although it was a long time ago, and schools do change), and have friends who still work in some of them, and I would love to be able to help you if I can.
Based on what you’re saying, I am not sure that Michlalah is the best option for you. The type of things that are issues for you could potentially. be bigger problems at Michlalah than in a Bais Yaakov seminary. On the other hand, Michlalah is a huge place and there are many teachers and types of teachers there, so everyone who goes can have a very different experience. A lot of it has to do with which teachers you end up having a kesher with. I still would not recommend it as a first choice. But I wouldn’t rule it out altogether.
I think Machon Raaya sounds like a very good idea. I don’t know enough about B’nos Avigail. I would also highly recommend Darchei Binah. I am surprised that you didn’t mention Darchei Binah as an option. It sounds to me right up your alley.
One advantage to DB is that it is not in a box – it is neither MO or untra-Orthodox. I can’t imagine your school would have a problem pushing you in, especially since your other option is going straight to college, and I would imagine that they would prefer that you go to any (or almost any) seminary first.
I am also wondering if Tomer Devora could be for you. I think it is different than the other schools you mentioned, and I don’t know a ton about it, but I wonder if it be worth looking into.
If none of the other options works out, you may want to consider MMY. I think it could make a lot of sense for you. It is the most intellectual seminary (and I have the impression that that is important to you). It is not really in a box, and the teachers are a range of hashkafos to some degree, but if one were to label it, it would probably be RWMO (right wing Modern Orthodox).
If you feel like you are heading in the direction of Modern Orthodox, it might be a good idea for you to experience sincere balanced Modern Orthodoxy rather than going to a BY seminary where you run the risk of either getting turned off or getting too “brainwashed” and then going in the opposite direction once you are in college. I’ve seen both happen to girls who were probably similar to you.
The only problem with MMY is that I don’t know how you would get in at this point. It doesn’t sound like your school would want to push it. Of course, if you point out to them that your other option is going straight to college, maybe they will decide that almost any seminary is better. Even if they do decide to push you in, they may not have any connections there, and I also am not sure that MMY is the type of school that one can push themselves into. But it might be worth trying.