Forming connections with students does not have to mean manipulation. You are right that unfortunately, it often does, but that does not have to be the case.
The schools need to focus on hiring emotionally mature teachers who know how to form connections without manipulation. One of the problems is that the schools often hire very young teachers of both genders. They should certainly not be hiring young male teachers.
An emotionally mature teacher is someone who is comfortable with herself, who doesn’t force relationships with students, and doesn’t form relationships with students for her own fulfillment. She makes it clear to the students that she is there for them if they want to form a relationship with her, but it is their choice. Obviously, everyone is human, so it is impossible to form a relationship with someone that is completely about them and not at all about you, but the focus should be on what’s good for the student and not the teacher’s fulfillment that she could feel good about herself because all these students are connecting with her.
You can not get rid of the concept of teachers connecting with students altogether. That is one of the main points of seminary. Girls’ education is very different from boys’ education.
It is true that the fact that someone learned in Brisk for 10 years doesn’t mean that he will have the emotional maturity to form healthy relationships with his students. That is precisely why the main qualification for a seminary teacher is not necessarily their educational background.
One way to do things could be the model you suggested that there are 2 separate roles – there are people who are there to teach and there are people who are there to connect with. That could be a legitimate model for a seminary. But then it has to be clear (to both the educators and students) what each person’s role is.
But l’maaseh, that is not how most seminaries work. There may be a few teachers who it’s known that they just come in to impart information and then leave. But for the most part, that is not how seminaries work. This is probably because people see the main goal in girls’ education as being to form connections with them and to help them grow religiously and emotionally, and the learning is seen as a means to an end.