Concepts about the Neshama are way beyond my undestanding, but there is one point I would like to make- halacha has always said that a girl is obligated to do mitzvos (ie become a Bas Mitzva) at 12, just as a boy becomes a Bar mitzva on his 13th birthday. That is not a “relatively new thing.” The party, whether for a boy or girl, is just to show that we are happy about that and value the new status, and how we celebrate it changes with the time/place/community.
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