Reply To: A posek can tell you who to marry

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#1210226
Lilmod Ulelamaid
Participant

I heard from Rav Orlofsky that someone (I don’t remember who) said that Daas Torah does not apply to whom you marry. This makes sense to me since according to Halacha, the person has to agree to the marriage (as we learn by Rivka). Also, it is a very personal matter, and your Neshama knows whom you are supposed to marry (that is the idea of the Bas Kol according to an article by Dr. Benzion Sorotzkin).

It makes sense to me that parnassah would be the same way. The Chovos Halevavos in Shaar Habitachon writes about how one is supposed to choose a parnassah based on what they are drawn to. That sounds to me like it has to be a personal choice.

In Dr. Sorotzkin’s article, he compares choosing a parnassah to choosing a spouse, and he writes about how one has to decide for himself whom he marries. I think you should read the article, LB. I think you would like it. You can find it online. It is called “Finding the Bashert: Why is it so difficult to hear the Bas Kol?”

Who to vote for is very different because that is not a personal decision, and it very much affects all of Am Yisrael, and you have no business making such a decision yourself.

There may be other personal decisions that would require Daas Torah (maybe even everything else), but I think that these two areas, or at least choosing a spouse, are personal decisions.

Disclaimer I: I do not have a source other than R’ Orlofsky’s quote. It could be that the article brings sources (I read it a really long time ago).

Disclaimer II: I am not referring to cases in which there are specific issues involved that may require Daas Torah. Theoretically, a specific issue could include a guy (who has a chiyuv to get married) who is refusing to marry girls for no good reason, simply because he has commitment issues.

Disclaimer III: While I don’t think I would ask Daas Torah about either of these issues, if a Gadol Hador tells you what to do without your asking, you should definitely take it seriously.