Reply To: A posek can tell you who to marry

yichusdik: It can happen that a rabbi can say it without the sheila.

Last year I had a yichud (someone else was in the room, right outside the room, and the door was open) with a big rabbi (putting it lightly). I went with someone I was newly dating at the time.

This bochur had a yichud right after mine. The rabbi told him point blank that I was his beshert and he needed to wait for me. It put a lot of pressure on the relationship, to say the least.

It ended up not working out and I know it was for the best from Hashem. The way that I see it, now, is that I needed to go through that situation to gain strength in my emuna (which it really did launch after that). I still think that maybe the bochur was a beshert, but not for this lifetime.

Anyway, I heard that rabbonim rarely tell people so bluntly who to marry, as this rabbi essentially did for him and me. Either way, it can happen.