Reply To: Tznius and kiruv

“You can, plain and simple, and that’s 100% tznius.” (RookieRebbe613)

RookieRebbe613: You are so right. I can. It isn’t so fashionable and that’s not a good reason to not do something.

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Side note: I don’t even want to go to this group anymore (that’s how I feel now)(and I do have a better idea). I put a lot of pressure on myself to go go go because it has people my age and I want to have Jewish friends my age. I also want to learn Torah.

But… if I really wanted to learn Torah lishma, then I can go someplace closer to where I live, and on a different day, and maybe make some more friends who are older than my parents. I love hanging out in older crowds, but then how can I pray to Hashem for my shidduch when I’m not throwing myself out there (in fashionable clothes with makeup, and bells and whistles or whatever they say).

I want to learn Torah for real. I can do a lower-key thing, tzniusly, and I may not be necessarily in the mix of singles my age, but Hashem put me here for a reason. If I could afford to move, then he would have given me the money to do so.

Anyway thank you. I realized that there was no answer here. I needed to say it aloud and realize what it meant to me. What I learned was that even when the Rebbetzin said that there was no dress code, I didn’t feel comfortable dressing untzniusly. I know that for myself, I must dress tzniusly. That’s ideal. Right now, I am not-ideal. However, I can at least not show up untzniusly. I don’t want to add that. And if I want Torah, then okay, I need to find a sustainable way to learn and grow.

Thank you everyone for all of your answers