I am understanding “???? and ???? ???” as meaning flirtatious talking or behavior (???? ???) and playing or having fun in a non-platonic manner (“????”).
I agree (YD 195:1 was my source as well, especially the Shach there). Why do you assume that playing a game is not “platonic” in nature or is flirtatious? I can play a game with Ittisa and other members of my/her family (who are certainly Ervah, even without Niddah) in a platonic fashion. Fun does not equal “???? and ???? ???”.
Or are we assuming the worst of most Bochrim?
P.S. Do you know which Shailah Rav MOshe discusses it? Thanks.