“The solution is NOT to let them hang out like Perutzim before Kiddushin.”
GAW, did my post imply that anywhere? Of course I don’t endorse that as a solution.
In reality, there is no one correct method, because people are wired differently. Some need significant interaction and a certain level of comfort before committing to a lifelong relationship. Others can just jump right in and work it out themselves after marriage.
The solution is to know yourself, know what works best for you, and that the people whom you trust and depend on should empower you to follow through with it, and not force you into using a method that you aren’t comfortable with.