“only if it’s done one way and not the other, but I find that usually people who do one, do the other.”
“What does that mean?”
I mean that single males are also called boys. If they are not, then it’s condescending to call single females “girls”.
“And are you suggesting that married women not be referred to as girls? (As married men are not called a bochor.)”
As far as I know, married female are generally not called girls. Except by their single friends who are the same age as them. Like I might call my friends girls since I’m a girl and I’m the same age as them.
“The reason I find it highly problematic for males to call adult females as girls, is that the underlying reason it is used is as as a form of endearment.”
I got that. I just personally have not heard it used that way. Obviously if you know people who use it that way, then it’s a problem. But if people also refer to adult single males as boys, then I would think that’s a proof that they are not using it the way you say.
I also don’t really see how it could be used that way, since it’s usually used in third person. You don’t call a person a “girl” or “lady” or “boy” etc to their face; it’s how you refer to them.