LB I am glad that you explained yourself and your questions. You are looking for truth, and I think since it would not be practical to run to a LOR with every single question that you have on what you hear/learn, it is good to use the CR as sounding board to know which questions are fit for the Rav. I also think that you are already picking up on what might not be legitimate/normative, and that is why you are asking about those particular things.
I always thought it was hard for BTs to give up their old lifetsyles and take on a Torahdik lifestyle. I never appreciated though until I met you, LB, just how hard it is to figure out what the new lifestyle should be! When I saw your question or something like it, I was able to put it within a context of whatever I have seen or learned in my frum life, and also compare it to other frum lifestyles I have been exposed to, and instinctively know whether this is normal to the general population or some specific group, or extreme or just plain wrong. For a BT, that is so much harder to do.
I also understand how important yeshivos/seminaries for BTs are- they provide the basic foundation of what is Torah-true hashkafa, halacha, and provide role models for normative frum living. The teachers know what to say, how much to say and when to say it, and I think I am learning now, even more importantly, what not to say. It is so much harder to get that grounding from a hodge-podge of shiurim, whether online or real, no matter who is giving the shiur.
LB, may you continue to grow and question and find your direction!