My parents are secular and would freak out if I said that I wanted to marry a learning boy and be the family’s breadwinner.
I had a hard time talking to my parents growing up. They would literally find ways to cancel or block my plans. It got extreme and even my aunts and older cousins told them to back off. wasn’t doing anything wrong and it was frustrating because I was treated like a prisoner. I wasn’t allowed to do many things because I was a “girl.” Truly that was the answer most of the time.
I ended up having to be sneaky about it. I hated it. Once I had everything planned to do something major and finally told one of my parents. That parent helped me and kept it a secret from the other. After it happened and everything worked out then I told the other parent and things were okay. Sorry this is very vague.
I don’t know if this is horrible advice but maybe you can talk to and confide in one parent who may be more sympathetic. Explain yourself and maybe that parent will soften up and may eventually help you and talk to your other parent.
But if they are a wall then it’s best to focus on your goal right now and work with the shadchan and your LOR. When things are more solid, you will also be more solid in what you want to do. That confidence and support from your LOR and other adults will help you tame the waters at home B”H