The true is answer is that it is a nes for anyone to afford an apartment.
This is not a problem unique to kollel families as the OP has stated he is not learning in kollel. I have heard chiloni couples struggle with this issue as well. you need at least 30% for a down-payment and a monthly income 3x what the mortgage payment would be.
ZD, Tel Aviv I believe is even more expensive than Jerusalem. And ever since the economic downturn in US and Europe, vs strength of Shekel, for the last 8+ years, apt prices have been in shekels only.
I don’t know of anyone local who dreams of buying an apt in Jerusalem anymore- it is priced out of range of locals, and new apts are being marketed to foreign investors.
Young couples look to buy in the periphery- up North, or down South. For example, you can get a 4 room (ie 3 bedroom) apartment in Karmiel for around 700-800,000 NIS (around $185,000-210,000. Something similar would cost 1.4-1.5 million ($368,000-$395,000) in Bet Shemesh and probably 2 million in Yerushalayim ($525,000).
By the way, regarding those govt programs to help first time apt buyers- even that is expensive and very hard to get. To quote a recent article about a local project, 12,331 people entered a lottery to be eligible to purchase one of 87 apartments, at avg price of 830,000 for 3 rooms. And these apartments have not been built yet, meaning that the family will still have to pay rent for 3+ years.
On the other hand, there was a heartwarming item on the news about a couple who entered the lottery hoping they would win something to cover their overdue electric bill; they won millions of shekel and now can afford to buy an apt. So miracles do happen. I hope you can get your own miracle, assurnet.