Assurnet, you raise some very good points, I have no answers for them.
Al pi teva, none of this makes sense. But most of what happens in E”Y does not make too much sense al pi teva.
As far as buying apts for kids getting married, the relative of means may come thru for daughter#1. But what about the next 6-7? Just how many super rich relatives are there out there? Realistically, there are an awful lot of girls sitting around not getting shidduchim because their families cannot come up with the 500,000- 1,000,000 NIS that is needed to buy an apartment (price goes up with value of boy in question).