LU: Thank you. Def good to know.
I learned this lesson the hard way (Baruch Hashem could have been worse) last year when a customer made fun of another customer in a store and he was going on and on about her after she walked away.
Needless to say, the whole thing turned on me and it got intense and I literally was shaking because I was so afraid. I went home crying. My therapist told me that while it was the “right” thing to do, ideally, it was also not safe.
My therapist said that had she been in my shoes, she would have not said anything, in order to protect herself. Esp, since she has no clue who this person is and assumes that he could be capable of anything, including G-d forbid waiting outside the store when I’m walking back to my car and etc (which I did not even think of at the time).
Furthermore, someone who is that angry/deranged/skewed generally is not going to consider what I am saying or any logic for the matter. Instead the person will get defensive.
You brought up using humor which is very smart. And yes the response has to be intelligent. At the same time, some people will not hear even intelligence from someone based on some prejudice, such as “if a woman says it”, or “a Jewish person says it”, etc.
The person is judgmental and says something because he/she may believe that someone who is Jewish/other is less than.