moish01-
In a perfect world, yes it would be easier to just say no. But the world isn’t perfect and the shidduch world is as far from perfect as it gets.
Take a less extreme case for example-
Shadchan gives me the name- I look into it and not interested. Shadchan puts pressure on me to go out by having the references call to tell me what I’m missing out on, ask my rebbe to speak with me and lots of other stuff.
I finally gave in under pressure and go out with her. In my opinion the information I got in my research is correct and on top of that her looks are very unappealing. If I say no after the first date I’ll get bombarded with calls that I didn’t give it a fair chance or that I made up my mind from before. I also run the risk of her thinking that I found her looks unappealing.
Instead I go out, act like a kind gentleman, pretend like I have no personality and speak in a monotone. This way she’ll say no and save me from all those problems.
Right?