Oy, I know, that’s what I was thinking when he first told me the story.
Where do I start from?
It’s a long story…
The Doc is the oldest of a mid to large size family. There were a handful of siblings dating at the same time; The Doc, his twin brother and two sisters- the older was one year out of seminary and the other was fresh out of seminary. (Another brother was 19 or 20 at the time and wanted to start dating but Dr. Pepper Sr. convinced him to wait.) His twin is very Yeshivish and refused to take any names unless it came from a professional shadchan, and the sisters, being girls, were also also at the mercy of shadchanim.
One particular “professional” shadchan used to set him up with people that were like so not compatible and threaten him that she will not give any names to his siblings unless he went out with so and so. If he still refused she would reach into her grab bag of techniques (including, but not limited to, getting his Rebbe to convince him to change his mind and in one particular case she even called a friend of his who went out with her and told him that as teshuva for saying no to her he has to get him to go out with her).
Saying “NO” after the first date was also very tough. She would say stuff like, “you didn’t give it a fair chance”, and give him a hard time about it. Eventually he decided to act in a way where the girl would for sure say no and he’d be off the hook.
His parents couldn’t figure out what was going on but his younger brother, who either knew everything or knew how to find it out, offered to investigate. He called a friend of his from camp, who was a son of the Shadchan, and came back with the following information. I think it’s highly exaggerated so take it with a grain of salt.
Supposedly there were some rich parents of girls, who were not the brightest, yet they wanted their grandchildren to have a chance. They called this professional shadchan and offered large amounts of money if she could find the smartest guy for their daughter. The parents usually liked what they heard about The Doc; he wanted to learn long term, took davening and sedorim seriously and earned a secular degree so that if need be he’d have a means of supporting a family and he was known in Yeshiva as being a big masmid as well as intelligent and worldly. Poor guy, through no fault of his own he was stuck in the middle of all this. But he came up with hilarious things to do on a date (and he did it all very innocently) to make sure she said no.
With this particular girl, after she said straight out that they were not compatible he was relieved since he thought for sure she was going to say no. For some reason she said yes and they had to go out again. It turned into a soap opera (for no better way to describe it).
I’m pretty sure this happened with the same girl but can’t guarantee it. After he picked her up (it wasn’t the first date) they were deciding where to go and she asked if he could take her to a ball game. He’s really not a baseball fan so he explained that he doesn’t know what time the game would start or even if there is a game that night, and besides even if he could figure out how to get to the stadium and get tickets, a ball game wouldn’t be the best place to get to know each other. She let him get away with it but said, “after we get married I expect you to come with me to games”.
Next she asked him if he weighs over 200 lbs. “Why?” he asked totally shocked. “In one class I’m taking the teacher said we could get 5 extra points on our final if we give blood. I’m not eligible to donate blood for health reasons so he said that if I get someone else to give than I could still get the 5 points.”
“Aha, so why do you need to know if I’m over 200 lbs.?”
“Oh, the brochure said that the minimum weight is 100 lbs. so I was wondering if I brought you and you’re over 200 lbs. than you can give two pints and I’ll get 10 extra points!”
I’ll try to find out some more stuff over Shabbos.