Some have pointed out that kiruv works when a person feels loved, and less so when someone convinces the other that Torah is emesdik. This has been my observations as well — people become close to chabad, to Aish, or whatever, when they enjoy Friday night dinner, etc. But not because we discussed whether there is a god, and if so, blah blah blah.
But if this is true, that means that in theory kiruv could work for anything. If a reform person, or a Hindu person, showed someone love, showed them how beautiful communal singing is, etc, then maybe the person will become reform or hindu, etc. This seems disappointing because it means to me that we’re not *really* doing kiruv, just pushing on people’s psychological buttons, and manipulating them. Of course, if this eventually leads a person to learn, understand, and eventually do things lishma that’s great! But if it doesn’t…