lilmod, very well said. The whole point of the arba banim passage is to show us that there are different kind of kids/people who require different kinds of chinuch approaches.
There are few kids OTD today who are doing it because they are consciously denying ikrei emuna and don’t believe it Hashem. Rather they stop doing mitzvos out of pain (for whatever reason), as a reaction to feeling hurt by people/society who are frum, and/or out of taava. Far from being kofrim.
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