Reply To: The Wicked Son, and the Kiruv System

LU: Is this an accurate summary of your three points?

#1: It takes skill to tell the difference between a Rosho and a lost struggling נשמה.
#2: “Sharp retort” does not contravene the Unconditional Love Strategy
#3: People today are more fragile, they can’t take anything negative.

על אחרון ראשון: Is the only reason they are more fragile simply because we have changed the way we deal with our kids? Is it a direct consequence of our forgiving patient model of Chinuch?

#2: Of course you can love a kid and still be sharp. But this isn’t the conventional “Unconditional Love”, where you are told not to react negatively to anything, but show a constant outpouring of love and support, simply ignoring the bad.

#1: There are generally two kinds of OTDs: (A) Those who still believe, but have left the fold because they are angry with their families, schools, Hashem or themselves; (B) those who do not believe in Hashem any longer. Of course they are both lost, suffering Neshamos; both categories are to be equally pitied. We can’t judge any of them, difficult as it may be.
If they truly no longer believe in Hashem – [and I have unfortunately had friends who fit in this category – much as people like to deny that there is such a thing. I am aware of the “Not Kashas, Tirutzim” vort. You can say what you like about the causes of this guy’s issues, but he genuinely does not believe, ר”ל.] – in my eyes, they fit the category of Rosho.

Of course, according to the Chazon Ish quoted above, the practical ramifications of Rosho may not apply.