Lilmod Ulelamaid,
What an excellent post!
yekke2,
Is the only reason they are more fragile simply because we have changed the way we deal with our kids? Is it a direct consequence of our forgiving patient model of Chinuch?
No, the fragility comes from the fact that we are in golus, and we have not offered a korban on the mizbeach for almost 2000 years. That hurts us and weakens us, even if we’ve never known differently.
Of course you can love a kid and still be sharp. But this isn’t the conventional “Unconditional Love”, where you are told not to react negatively to anything, but show a constant outpouring of love and support, simply ignoring the bad.
If that’s what you think unconditional love is, then you have misread a lot of parenting books. Unconditional love is about maintaining a constant awareness of why I am a parent and what my goal as a parent is: to raise good, healthy Jewish children, and to maintain that awareness even during frustrating situations. There is a big difference between healthy discipline and reacting with little thought out of frustration, anger, or wanting to seem like a tough with-it parent in front of others. Or going to the other extreme and being a pushover because you want your kid to like you.