a fundemantal difference between the rasha [those we sit shiva on] and todays OTD kids. we have yet to find a functional OTD kid. once upon atime people went off the derech thinking they had discovered a better life based on idialogocal changes. today kids get pushed off the derech usually due to some form of trauma. this OTD kids are fully dysfunctional. this clearly demonstrates that they are Kids In Pain [KIPS] suffering from PTSD. having worked with hundreds of cases and 15 years I have not yet found the exception. when we HEAL the OTD KIPS they automatically get back on track [they usually ask for soe help along the way to deal with thier trauma]. these KIPS need to be understood and held. daven for them in refoenu not hashivenu!!
this is hinted to in the Hagadah too. the answer we give the Rosho is actually taken stright from the sheno yodeah lishol. he is AT HOME not kicked out chas vesholom, and is so badly hurt that his brain cannot even focus on ansking a straight question. have pity on him and help him back with kind words. we must sit shiva on the KIPS whose parents have been misguided and have been thrown onto the streets – in the name of religion. Nebach. I could write hundreds of pages on the topic but for now – lets start to focus on hatzolah rather then chinuch! [don’t forget we lost over 100 KIPS last year – thats not ROSHO thats PAIN].
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