Reply To: Husband eats vegetables on his own

That’s a good point too RebYidd23 ~ and thank you for that!

After reflecting on this question more over Shabbat, I realize that the issue is tied up in one taking accountability for one’s health. Saying that one would eat vegetables if the wife prepares them is pushing the responsibility for his well-being onto his wife.

NOW this is talking about a specific person and so surely there may be people here that object and say that they won’t eat vegetables unless their wives prepare them for them… but I don’t know the other details and am not speaking about you, and what frustrates me here is how this person is neglecting major health concerns. Like a blind spot.

That said… for me health is a great value. I almost died and Hashem gave me my life back. I was so lucky. Am so lucky. They [doctors] even prepared my parents to never see me the same again. But Hashem returned my neshama, brain, and body. Since then, I have worked and still work to ensure that I am as healthy as possible because I need my brain and body to fulfill my soul’s purpose in this world.

And this person also was given a gift of a new life, but I feel like I am looking at someone who thinks that he is invincible and/or the symptoms that he is experiencing have nothing to do with what he consumes during the day, and frequently.

—So yes. It is more than vegetables. It is about guarding one’s health, proactively.

Waiting until one is married to do something like take care of one’s body does not even make sense. If someone wants to be a father, then what he consumes also affects the parts that he will b’esrat Hashem give to his wife to create that life (you know what I mean). So part of being a father and the self-care needed to be there for one’s child starts before the child is born, and even before one finds his wife.

I don’t know. Obviously I care so it is difficult to just turn off my brain and walk away.

Especially when I think of being an EZER. Maybe Hashem put me here for this very reason because I can be an EZER to this man and etc etc it is my mission.

Then again, I have been here before and remember that I learned that this is not a healthy position for me to be in, and it is not my job or mission to try to fix someone or open his eyes.

Thank you