RebYidd23,
Imagine if an acquaintance sat down next to you and said the following:
“Years ago, when people got offended by something I said, I was deeply offended by their taking offense.
That’s understandable. It doesn’t feel good when someone gets offended by something you say, especially if you didn’t mean anything bad.
They weren’t even in the group that it was supposedly offensive to
I don’t think offense is limited by any social rule to members of the group spoken about; for example, I feel grateful when non-Jews are offended by and stand up to anti-Semitism. Sometimes a lack of knowledge can lead to misinformed offense, however, such as when a non-Jewish acquaintance of mine thought that the word “Jew” was a pejorative.
(whether I am is a machlokes among the experts),
Is this an offshoot of your disagreement with Syag Lchochma over the shoes-Autism joke?
and what I said shouldn’t have been offensive to anyone, in group or not,
Unfortunately, we don’t get to be the arbiter of what another person finds hurtful or offensive.
but their offense led me to question my identity. I’ve started feeling ashamed of who I am again.”
What would you answer them?
Why would someone’s offense affect you so deeply (beyond the pain of experiencing someone’s offense)? You didn’t mean any offense, and the vast majority of posters didn’t seem to find your comments offensive (if I’m interpreting the impetus of this thread correctly). So why not just compassionately explain your viewpoint? Also, from what was written before, I’m not sure the person taking offense was necessarily “out of the group”, as in, unaffected/unrelated.