Reply To: How come all frum Jews today aren’t Chassidic?

GAON: Everything!

In those times when I feel immense guilt after a shiur, it’s a whole bunch of doubting and judging myself.

For example, a shiur talks about how Hashem gives us challenges and we’re supposed to thank G-d for everything. I think about how I said “no” to taking on another assignment because it was interfering with my health and I was doing too much “people pleasing” by saying “yes yes yes yes” to every request. Since asserting myself is challenging, I doubted myself after listening to this shiur (and not only this one) and wondered if I just should have done it because maybe Hashem wanted me to keep going (although I was actually doing the right thing but I felt wrong about it because I wanted to do more, no matter the expense, just like the shiur seemed to say when I internalized it – but it actually did not intend to say what I thought it did).

Another example is when I listened to a shiur on dating and marriage, and feel like what am I doing caring about whether I have enough money to eat next month when I’m not even married yet?! I must not have my priorities together. This shiur says that I cannot fulfill my soul’s potential without being married and I am so caught up in survival that maybe I am missing out on my life’s mission. And after I talked to my rebbetzin about this guilt, she said that I need a livelihood and it doesn’t go against Torah to focus on a job, and to take it in steps, pretty much. So just because I am not married yet doesn’t mean that I am not doing enough or being enough, and I don’t have to feel guilty about it.

My rebbetzin said it’s not like Torah is here, and the rest of your life is there. Torah enriches every part of your life, she explained. — Which made learning Torah and understanding the message way more digestible.

Thank you! 🙂