LB, you described your issues with 2 examples- being able to set limits with how much you give of yourself to people, and how much emphasis you should be placing on shidduchim as a priority. Neither of these examples have anything to do with chasidish vs litvish hashkafa. Nor did the Rebetzin’s answers. A Litvish mentor would have told you the same things.
What I think you are saying is that you might have certain insecurities, emotional handicaps, and that you find the emotional/spiritual approach of chabad can help you fill in what you are lacking. This is true for many people, which I think might explain the popularity in our generation of Breslov and Carlebach, and music in general, and the need for even LItvish people to get close to a Rav in a Rebbe-type of relationship.
Keep in mind (and maybe this does not apply to you and I am reading too much into your comments) that a Torah-true life, when done properly, should elevate a person and as a side-effect, make him feel emotionally complete, but taking on mitzvos and adapting a particular hashkafa is not meant to be done as therapy. Doing Mitzvos is about serving Hashem, doing what He wants, and being a true Eved Hashem brings happiness, but it is not meant to be first and foremost about pleasing ourselves.
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