As a parent of 3 boys…now all in their 20’s… let me put my 2 cents in.
They all lived in the same home and went through the same 8 years of elementary school yet they are all very different in almost every way. One at each extreme and one somewhere in the middle. I cant explain it other than they all reacted/interpreted things differently. Meaning, as an example, one loved a certain Rebbe and one was turned off by the same Rebbe….the Rebbe wasn’t different the child was. Not blaming the Rebbe or Yeshiva. At home they all saw the same lifestyle we live…..again different strokes for different folks.
So now all we can do is continue to love them for who they are, the religiosity not withstanding and hope that by showing support for who each one is as an individual each will continue to move closer to the derech they should be on.