Reply To: Is it worth it to get married and divorced?

Home Forums Decaffeinated Coffee Is it worth it to get married and divorced? Reply To: Is it worth it to get married and divorced?

#1322389
TheFakeMaven
Participant

To my understanding this question is a misunderstanding. memah nafshech, if your getting married al daas to get divorced, it’s against halacha (see Nedarim 20 b, O.C. 240). If you’re going into the marriage knowing that it won’t work and that ultimately you will get divorced it is the same issue, moreover as getting divorced is an extremely harsh thing in the eyes of chazal, (see gitten 90 b), how can one justify getting married even though he knows it wont work. Furthermore he will transgress the mitzvah of love thy neighbor etc, (see kuddushin 41 a that chazal forbid marrying a woman before seeing her because of this, and I think it obvious that it pertains to this as well). And all this besides for the more obvious transgressions that will take place, such as lashon horah, fighting etc.
Then there is the issue with ruining your kids lives. having divorced parents is emotionally straining and scarring.
What’s more, I’m not sure how one can even think that living with a spouse one does not get along with is a fun concept, it can be a gehenom on earth, (see yevamos 63 a).
So in short, it is definitely not condoned by chazal, will cause numerous transgression, and there is a large likelihood of scarring the children for life, that besides for the fact that life is not enjoyable in such circumstances.
Of course if one gets married normally and for whatever reason, after marriage consoling etc, it doesn’t work out there is a reason why Hashem allowed divorce. But to get married al daas kein, is definitely wrong.