@anonymous123 – it’s ok, even if you are questioning it. You wouldn’t have been the first…
The entire hanhala saw it, I actually once drove up and watched as a hanhala member watched a few kids pushing my son around. But they insisted that this is the way boys normally behave, the occasional cut and scrape is normal boy behavior. I can’t count how many times I was told that as a woman, I “just don’t understand” the dynamics in boys’ schools.
Finally about 8 weeks ago we got them to come to a meeting with a therapist, who, after nearly two hours (we were scheduled for a one hour appointment) finally got them to understand that the pattern was clearly one of bullying. They were silent for a while after that, as it started sinking in. You could actually see the rebbe shrink into himself. He stopped talking for almost twenty minutes. On the one hand I was relieved that he finally understood, and on the other, so furious that it took a professional to convince him, and that he never trusted our words, not once. He kept saying things to the effect of, “how did I miss this”? (FYI I paid for that two hour visit, and many others before and since.) After that it got a bit better in the classroom, but the menahel did not follow through with what we had decided at that meeting. So he endured two more months, and now my son is finally out of there. Now comes the challenge of finding him someplace new.
In case it’s relevant, I have over ten years of teaching experience, and I always told parents, “I know this grade and age level, but you know your son better than I ever can. Together we can give him the best year possible.” I also have a few college courses in childhood and adult psychology under my belt as part of two degrees.
