The issue of not hitting children today is not just because the parent/Rebbe is not on the level to fulfill the criteria of when it might be appropriate as a chincuh tool. It also has to do with the level of the child being hit. Rav Shlomo Wolbe says it is assur to hit a child today because today, a child’s automatic response may be to hit back, and therefore by hitting the child, the parent is encouraging the child to hit and be oiver on kibbud av v’em.
Behavior is learned. If a role model hits when angry or otherwise upset at a child’s behaviors, today’s child will not have the maturity to think “it is ok for him to hit me because it is for chincuh purposes”, but rather he will learn that hitting is ok when one is angry or upset. And then he will hit when he is angry or upset, specifically someone who is weaker than him. Bullies do not emerge from a vacuum.
Yes, you are being mechanech your child when you hit him: You are teaching the child to use aggression and violence to solve his problems.
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