Most of my friends were married by 23-24. One of my best friends got married at 26 (before me). Those couple of years till he got married, I used to hear every day about how it’s not right that when a good friend gets married they stop being friends and about how he would be different.
He was no different. Once he got married I started getting once a year shana tova emails.
But I don’t blame him. Life is insanely busy and a persons priorities need to change. I am divorced with two families and long hours to support both families. It is difficult to balance everything, and I don’t really maintain any real friendships outside of family (except for an occasional bbq once a year to “catch up” with old friends and of course my deep ties to the coffee room addicts).It is sad, and I probably should call people more often. But its difficult, there is only so much time and energy in a day. I’m not complaining, I’m just stating facts as I perceive them.
Does this excuse the fact that people don’t pick up the phone to call you? no. But to be honest, what my friend didn’t understand as a single guy but understood after marriage is that yeshiva friends are temporary friends. The deeper “friendships” are family and that becomes the priority.
Hatzlocho
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