@yekke2,
I’ll probably be bashed for this or called elitist or wealthy or out of touch with most members of the CR, BUT
I have found when people bash the gift ‘slinging’ it is because they do not have the means to do so.
When eldest brother got engaged, my future sister in law was vociferous about not liking sterling silver, a sentiment echoed over and over again by her mother. They were from simpler beginnings than us, as the parents were survivors with little formal education. When the kallah made the announcement, my mother told her: ‘in that case CTL and his future bride will get paternal grandparents’ sterling which is engraved with the family initial.’ SIL has seethed every yuntif at our home when she sees this on the dining table. For her 10th anniversary, My wife and AI bought her a set of sterling, trying to make peace. SIL also told my brother that she couldn’t have a diamond bigger than her married sister or mother. So she received a half carat stone while other brothers’ wives and Mrs. CTL got much larger stones (from the family yerusha). SIL never wears her ring, says rings bother her. Her daughters all got 2-3 carat stones when they were engaged, SIL had learned to enjoy better things during marriage.