DY: I never said that there aren’t more girls than boys. It is clearly so, at least among the serious bnai Torah, and those wishing to marry them. (Personally, I have 2 daughters on the market, and one going into 12th grade. My boys are all married.) The question is why. I think that the major cause of this is that we do a better job in general keeping the girls on the straight and narrow than the boys. A boy can be frum, and nice, and ehrliche and all of the above. But if he is not a natural student, with a decent kishron and zitzfleish for learning, he won’t feel successful in the yeshiva system, and he won’t be found in the higher groups. A girl who is frum, nice, and ehrliche, although not necessarily a successful student, has many other non scholastic outlets within the Bais Yaakov system that can help her feel successful and want to stay in the fold. She can still get into a good seminary (maybe not BJJ, but a decent one), and be a high quality Bais Yaakov girl looking for that top learner.
The chassidim do a better job of finding outlets for their boys who are not necessarily stars in the Bais Medrash. (Just look at all the young musicians and singer groups out there today. I don’t know a number, but I’d bet that 90% of them are chassidim.) They don’t look at some of those people as second class like the litvish do, and therefore more of them stay in the good places, so their market is more balanced.
I acknowledge that they start at the same time. But I would say that a much more significant number of boys get engaged in the first one or two girls, than girls do. The average guy comes out of the freezer, say 17 Tammuz; half of them are engaged by chanuka. The girls come back from seminary, 15-20% maybe are engaged in a year, most are on the market 2, 3 or more years. That itself brings them closer in age to those they are marrying. (I know it is anecdotal evidence only, but my girls were on the market an average of 2.5 post seminary years before getting engaged. My son came out of the freezer 17 Tammuz, and was engaged within the week of 15 Av. Most of my friends have very similar scenarios.)
The ads suggest they date earlier, but as you say, and I agree 100%, they should follow their rabbeim. All I said is their rabbeim are mostly not hurrying them. They are advising them to continue the process as has always been. (Except REBW, who tells some of his talmidim to marry before Israel.) What I said was don’t read what they write in public announcements that askanim nag them into signing. Rather follow what they tell their talmidim away from the pressures of the busybodies.