The only distinction I made in the boys was between the top tier long term learning boys vs. the 2 year kollel life and learner-earner types. How someone read into that that I was referring to people going of the path is beyond me.
I’ll throw another fact out there. In our world, most of the time, the spiritual identity of the family is defined by what the father is. Is he a teacher, a learner, a baal habos, a learner earner, a kovea ittim. Does he have real sedarim, or does he go to a shiur if there happen to be no scheduling conflicts.
There are more girls looking for that top tier fellow, then there are top tier boys. And when they figure out that he wasn’t has top tier as he was billed, (girls are very intuitive that way) they drop them for what seem like frivolous reasons. They’ve been trained to reach high, and when they sense a fellow spends more time in the coffeeroom – the real one, not the cyber version – than in the Bais Medrash, they decide that is not what they are looking for. Even if they know that they will have a harder time finding the next one that he will. Her spiritual identity is hitched to his more than his is hitched to hers.
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