JJ: you’re right, and I thought about it before my post, yet it’s more complicated than it seems at first glance . My assessment is that “kids of divorce” are getting smarter, getting counseling early on, and actually “fighting back”. (This is from a secular POV. We have some catching up to do in this regard , as our children of divorce have “bigger chips on their shoulders” which likely effects their self esteem. She ironically, IMHO less stigma on the kids can lead to less divorces down the road.)
Below is part of an article in Psychology Today entitled “Are Children of Divorce Doomed to Fail”. While not statistical proof, I like how the author, Renée Peltz Dennison, examines the issue. (And that she agrees with me…)
“Overall, recent research paints a more complex picture of the effects of parental divorce on future relationships. It has become clear that simply modelling your relationship off of your parents’ relationship isn’t the only option. Many couples take steps to consciously create their own relationship patterns, and many are able to actually learn from their parents’ “mistakes.” In addition, there are other important marriage role models besides parents. Parents are important, of course, but about three-quarters of the couples I interviewed discussed important and influential marriage models beyond their immediate families—including peers and peers’ parents—that they used to supplement their own learning about marriage, and develop the tools necessary to build what they saw as a successful marriage.
More and more couples are actively constructing their own paths to relationships, and therefore actively determining their own marital fate. Interestingly, coming of age in a time of higher divorce rates in general may have taught the current generation that marriage isn’t something that should be entered into lightly. In USA network survey, 73% of respondents believed that couples should take at least one additional step (such as engagement therapy) before being granted a marriage license.
After decades of research, and over a decade of marriage, I continue to work to understand exactly how my family of origin affects my current marriage—but I no longer live in fear of the “sleeper” effects of my parents’ divorce. After studying and talking to many couples who have successfully navigated a path from parental divorce to personal marital success, I am confident that the fatalistic picture of couplehood for those exposed to parental divorce is flawed, and that the “transmission” of negative relationship outcomes is by no means inevitable. The bottom line is we play an active part in constructing our own marriages, and therefore have an active part in determining their success.”