Welcome to the CR, and hatzlacha in deciding which schools to send your kids to and which communities to identify with!
In reality, there are Jews of Color who have successfully integrated within every stream of Yiddishkeit.
I know a half black-half white young man raised as Yeshivish who married a white Jewish woman and is doing fine. I know a black ger who married a white woman; he considers himself Centrist Orthodox but sends their kids to the yeshivish school for practical reasons, which is working out fine.
I would choose what schools and communities just overall fit in with what you want for yourself and your family, in terms of hashkafah, halacha, community, etc.
I guess divorce and marriage rates, if there really are differences that can be documented, could be one consideration, as well as the rate of people going OTD — these are potential reasons for choosing one derech over the other, since the proof is in the pudding, but I wouldn’t try to fit into a mold you disagree with fundamentally just for the sake of the kids.
Many people (especially but not limited to gerim and BTs) don’t neatly fit in a single category and are somewhere in between, or even are a mix of MO, Yeshivish, Chassidic, etc. Incidentally, today (18 Tishrei) is Rebbe Nachman’s yahrzeit, and many gerim and BTs have gravitated toward his teachings, whether or not they identify as full-fledged Breslover chassidim.
If I were you I would investigate different schools and shuls and see how friendly the teachers, students, shul members, etc. are, or otherwise see which ones you like, and just choose the ones that seem right. Some communities are just more friendly, and some are probably more accepting to Jews of Color or gerim or their children. Out-of-town places are often a mix between MO and non-MO Jews, with a good number of BTs and gerim, but I’m sure that’s true of many places in NY and Israel as well.