To Little I KNow
You paint a considerably more dire picture of dealing with a BD on matters of gittin….based on my personal experience with friends and family, the issues you cite are real but every get is not a yiddeshe version of the “War of the Roses”…a good beis din is frequently able to defuse some of the vitriol and force both side to accept a settlement that is to the liking of neither. The perception that most beis dins are biased in favor of the husband was true for many years but B’h is no longer the norm, but the execption.
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