“Benignuman, why do you have an aversion to asking shailos?”
I think this is probably true of many people. I would guess that for many people (particularly men), it’s at least partially for the reasons he gave. I have the feeling that many men, especially if they are avreichim and/or Marbitzei Torah (which applies to almost all the men I know), feel uncomfortable asking sheilahs that they feel they should know the answer to on their own.
I also have the feeling that many men may feel like they are supposed to be able to answer their wive’s and children’s questions themselves.
Someone I know who is a therapist for people with anxiety issues told me that he gets a lot of newly-married men as patients – people who were border-line clinical to begin with, and having to be responsible for the halachic issues of the home (he may have mentioned kashrus specifically, but I’m not sure), throws them over the edge.
After he said this, I realized that it must be a lot of pressure for men if they feel like they have to be the “poseik” for the house even though they aren’t qualified poskim, and it would be a lot better if they were more comfortable asking sheilahs (not because most people are likely to develop clinical anxiety, but because that is what they should be doing).
Another problem that some may have is finding a Rav that they trust and feel comfortable asking. And I think this may become more difficult as one becomes more learned. If you don’t know very much, you can ask almost anyone because they all know more than you, and anyhow, you probably don’t know enough to evaluate the differences between one Rav and another.